"Home" and Heartbreak

Thursday, November 23^rd – Home and Heartbreak

I sure didn’t sleep for the plane rides from Casablanca to Abidjan and continuing to Accra, but I rested. My eyes were shut, and I was definitely relaxed, but not asleep by any means. It didn’t matter. I would have plenty of time to sleep during the day .

I stepped off the plane, and the humidity hit me like a slap in the face. At the same time though, it felt very normal. Overall, coming back to Ghana was a little bit like coming back “home.” Everything seemed so normal from the humidity to the accents to the taxi drivers giving me obruni prices.

Instead of forking out 40,000 cedis for the ride to Legon, I walked for a mile, then took a tro-tro for 2,000. The taxi drivers laughed at me for wanting to take a tro-tro; a laughed back at them for not giving them any money.

I got back to Legon, and passed out immediately. I set my alarm for 11:30AM, so I could meet with my advisor about my project. I slept well – enough to get me going through the day and back onto a normal sleep schedule.

After waking up, I went into Joe’s room, where there were a rather large collection of people. They asked me how my trip was, when I got back – all the usually questions about the trip. I asked them about some “accident” that happened. All I knew that there was an accident – that was as specific as the email got. Then the news was broken

Brenna, a girl from UC Santa Cruz, died in a tro-tro ride on the Accra – Kumasi Road. Needless to say, I was shocked. Not only that, it really put my own trip into perspective. Prior to hearing the news, I was going to break into a tirade about all the not-so-great stuff that happened on my trip, but after that moment, none of it mattered. Nothing else really mattered. I lost my ATM card. This girl lost her life. Her family lost a daughter, a cousin, a niece. Her friends lost a dear one. In comparison, my issues were nothing, and complaining about them just seemed wrong.

The truth – the sad truth – is that I barely knew Brenna. My memories of her are few and far between, but there is one that stands out. Brenna was the first person who I talked to on this whole trip. We walked through security together in San Francisco. I remember turning to her after we walked through and I said, “You ready?” Wearing her red, plaid Capri pants and an ear-to-ear smile, she calmly said “Yea.”

She was seated on my right side on the flight from San Francisco. We talked for a bit, but I fell asleep and she kept reading her book, I’m sure. We probably would have been seated next to each other on the flight back from New York. Now, there will be no body there – just her spirit.

I met with my advisor, who said everything looked good. The rest of the day was pretty mixed. I was still brimming from my trip, and the forthcoming dinner was something I looked forward to. At the same time, there was no way to keep this tragedy out of my mind.

Thanksgiving dinner was pretty amazing. The food was fantastic. It was a blend of American culture – turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, cranberry, and peas – and Ghanaian culture – rice and chicken. It was really good to see everyone from EAP. At this point, we’ve become a support system for each other. The food portion of the dinner concluded with the most American food possible – apple pie and ice cream.

Once people finished eating, people started speaking briefly – memories of and thoughts for Brenna and her family. I said something along the lines of the memory written above, and that’s when I become somewhat shaken by the whole situation. I had held it together for the most of the day, but at that moment, it hit me.

I spent the rest of the night talking with family and friends, and just trying to keep myself together.

Friday, November 24^th – Back to the Normalcy of Nothing

This day barely justifies any writing. I don’t think I did anything of significance. I spent a good chunk of the day listening to music, playing cards with Duncan and writing about Egypt.

Saturday, November 25^th – Studying? What?

I slept in, and got right to studying once I got out of bed. My exam for Poli 323 – Conflicts in African States – is tomorrow, and I really don’t feel prepared. I spent the better part of the day reading through my notes and narrowing down my notes into a few pages that I could easily remember.

Kevin, Hao, Mark and I were supposed to have a study session, but Mark went somewhere and never returned, and Hao felt that she just needed to go through the notes by herself – no biggie. Kevin and I swapped some notes and verbalized the most important things. I tend to remember things much better when I hear them.

After an hour or so, I took a small break, then got back to reading through the notes. After spending the day with this material, I feel ready. I was in bed by 1AM, which, for a pre-exam night, is really good. I wish I could take all of my exams on five hours of sleep.

Sunday, November 26^th – Final and Funeral

I woke up promptly at 6:30 and, oh my god, there is running water. It’s a miracle. I took a quick shower, and headed off to my exam. I must say that having an exam on Sunday is just unholy, in both the figurative in literal sense. Sunday is my weekend, but it’s a day of church for most of the people in school. I’m somewhat surprised that the school offers finals on Sundays.

The exam was easy – really easy. I wrote about eleven pages, nearly filling out the exam book. I’m confident that I will be getting an A in that class.

There was a scheduled funeral for 3:00 but it was a Christian funeral. None of the girls closest to Brenna were too thrilled about this, as Brenna wasn’t particularly religious, and neither are most of the EAP people. Nearly none of the EAP people showed up to the Christian service. Instead, we held a quickly organized candlelight vigil/memorial which was lovely. Many tears flowed. I know they did for me.

I had to leave early to study for a bit. I have another final on Tuesday for the class I didn’t go to all semester. After a little reading, I went to Tyme Out to have a drink with a bunch of EAP people, some of whom will be leaving tomorrow nights. It’s sad that their trip has been cut short, but its for the better.

Monday, November 27^th – Studying (?) Again.

Not a lot today. Just a whole lot of studying – reading, notetaking, all that stuff. Hopefully I will be prepared for this exam tomorrow.

Tonight, I’m talking with Ryan and Joe. It’s something that I not only want, but really need at this point. Without a doubt, they are my two best friends. I know that they are there for me right now. They’re always there for me. But especially right now, it’s really nice to know that they are there.

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US STUDENT DIES IN GHANA CRASH

20-year-old UC student studying abroad was on bus; 3 other students injured

Brenna Fessenden, a 2004 Maria Carrillo High School graduate studying in Africa, died Monday in a bus accident in Ghana.

Fessenden, 20, was participating in the University of California's Education Abroad Program in the African nation. She and three other students were returning from a weekend trip to a game preserve in Mole National Park, located north of the city of Accra.

Few details about the accident in Ghana were available Tuesday. But family members said they were told the accident apparently involved a "smallish bus" that may have rolled over, said Eric Fessenden of Santa Rosa, Brenna Fessenden's father.

"She was having an amazing experience. Every time she called it was just another great story," said her father, a school teacher at Alta Mira Middle School in Sonoma.

"She was loving it, but she was also counting the days till she came home," he said.

Fessenden, who had been in Ghana for a semester-long study program since mid-July, was scheduled to return to Santa Rosa on Dec. 19. Bruce Hanna, communications director for the universitywide study-abroad office in Goleta, said the three other program participants are in stable condition and that all the families have been notified.

Their names were not immediately available.

Fessenden's father said she was a model student who recently attained standing as a senior during her third year at UC Santa Cruz, where she was majoring in psychology.

He said that at Maria Carrillo, Fessenden excelled in her studies, taking advanced placement classes. He described his daughter as the kind of person who was thrilled to discover new places and cultures, noting she had been to Europe twice and once to China.

"That's why she chose Ghana, because it was very different," he said. "She always felt a little isolated going to Rincon Valley and Maria Carrillo."

Maria Carrillo Principal Mark Klick said Fessenden was a person who wanted to make a difference in life and would always reach out to people.

Klick said that while at the Santa Rosa high school, Fessenden earned a 4.0-plus grade point average and also received a community service award, which is given to students who do more than 100 hours of community service within a single year.

Fessenden was a music lover and played saxophone in Maria Carrillo's school jazz band, symphony and wind ensemble. She also loved to express herself through writing.

"She was totally willing to let her child out, but was also very mature and composed when she needed to be," Eric Fessenden said.

"She was beautiful," he said. "She was known as the 'Golden Child' - always upbeat and a problem solver."

In addition to her father, Fessenden is survived by her 14-year-old sister, Ainslee, and by her mother, Kristie Gardner, a teacher who works with independent study students at many Santa Rosa high schools.

Eric Fessenden said it could take a week or more before his daughter's body is returned to California. Services will be announced at a later date.
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LDG